The Mind Of Disturbance (in chronological order)

know your enemy

2005-07-11T06:58:00.000-07:00

just take a moment to step back and take in everything that's going on around you...

got it? good....

so many things are happening right now... though i doubt you guys have any interest in them whatsoever. but one thing's for sure, i feel like my life's doing a 360 right now... or at the very least a 180... i don't know why, but for some reason, everthing's changing... but hey, isn't change good?

now, to chronicle a day in the life of aya. i'll take friday for 500 points please...

friday's are good since classes end at 2:30. don't ask me much what happened between 8:45-2:30 since my mind, as it always does, wandered off to some far away land. the only thing i remember is getting my UP test permit, which caused a frenzy of emotions and worries in me. i dare not dive deeper into that. after classes, alex and i sneaked out to jeh's for a muh needed dose of y-o and along with dice and laya, ate our stress away with barbeque flavored fries. at 4:10, i had a volleyball game at school since sports fest began that week. we lost to red team, 5th set 1 point. grrreeeaaattt. after our insignificant defeat, i headed to metro walk with alex and nikki to buy the nip/tuck vcds to complete celso's gift (HAPPY BIRTHDAY JAIZEE! mwah!). dropped alex off at aic, and headed home with nikki to start preparing for nanay's party. the hours following that, i would not attempt to type down since it was all a blur.

it was a fun friday. though, i wasn't able to go to celso's little birthday bash, i don't mind. hopefully i'd get to see him this week..

hugs to: yasmin. coz it's her birthday too!!!! mwah!

giving myself a break

2005-06-27T00:35:00.000-07:00

mental note- when boredom bites, bite back... harder...

as of 11:30 tonight i have done nothing but stare blankly at the computer while polluting my lungs.

but earlier, i did have a life... sort of...

i watched batman begins with kuya and nikki today. i actually had a good time, though, i'm not sure if i actually enjoyed the movie or just the fact that i'm spending time with my brother. before the movie, nikki and i roamed around shang (aaah! walang katapusang shang!) in hopes of buying enough merchandise from folded&hung so that we could avail of their discount card. after snatching four articles of clothing, she is still 2k short. nice... it's amazing how one underestimates the powers of a sale. after our little defeat, we scurried from store to store, torturing ourselves by picking out clothes that we know we couldn't buy as we are both short in moolah- well, just me, as for some reason 25% of my friends decided to come onto this world either on june or july. my eyes glaze as i pick up a pair of pants from peoplerpeople knowing that it will take a whole month for us to cross paths again. *sigh. the wish list is stocking up pretty high. though for some reason, i don't mind. i rather spend my money on my friends rather than myself. it's a weird and uncanny satisfaction, i know. after the shopping, the movie, and the yosi breaks, the three of us headed to the nearest jollibee and indulged ourselves on a cheap food trip. and for some strange reason, the ride home in kuya's car seemed like forever.

i miss my brother. though i absolutely hate admitting it to myself. but it is an undeniable fact. ever since he moved out, it just felt empty. his absence was what got me started smoking, actually, as he was a chain smoker and i wanted to fill that void. my strange and unhealthy coping mechanism...

so, since there is nothing better to do, i shall attempt to type a mind numbing account of my week... sort of. sorry if it sucks, i will be needing some practice. heehee...

school started two weeks ago. not as hellish as i thought it would be. i'm actually enjoying it, though, not the same as i used to enjoy it. i have no intentions on devulging such information here as to why, but i do have my reasons. i took a load off from my extra curriculars. i stopped attending voice training for the time being, and i stopped basketball training (though i am seriously considering going back). i am now turning into a full blown geek- doing nothing but her schoolwork. but hey, it has only been two weeks. who knows what chaos lies ahead for me.
we had band practice last friday. we changed our name, and we are now attempting to play originals. yes, covers can only go so far. which reminds me, i have to find someone who could burn a couple of songs for me. listening for this new acoustic band we are planning to form.

ugh, my life seems so uninteresting doesn't it?

but hey, you read it... not my problem... heehee

hugs to: chevy (for hitting my blog every so often. poor you... heehee)

is aya still on?

2005-06-25T10:50:00.000-07:00

i'll be posting better shit soon... i'm just not used to bluntly writing about my day or week or month or whatnot, coz frankly dears, who gives a damn? but hey, what are blogs for?

i shall be boring you with my fucked up life very soon... anticipate it people...

you know you want it...

am i even making sense right now...

i should really stop typing...

*sigh...

quiz frenzy

2005-06-25T10:26:00.000-07:00

Part Passionate Kisser

For you, kissing is about all about following your urges
If someone's hot, you'll go in for the kiss - end of story
You can keep any relationship hot with your steamy kisses
A total spark plug - your kisses are bound to get you in trouble

Part Expert Kisser

You're a kissing pro, but it's all about quality and not quantity
You've perfected your kissing technique and can knock anyone's socks off
And you're adaptable, giving each partner what they crave
When it comes down to it, your kisses are truly unforgettable

What Kind of Kisser Are You?

Your IQ Is 95

Your Logical Intelligence is Average
Your Verbal Intelligence is Above Average
Your Mathematical Intelligence is Above Average
Your General Knowledge is Above Average

A Quick and Dirty IQ Test

You are

What Rejected Crayon Are You?

wow....

lived a little

2005-06-04T02:18:00.000-07:00

“Stop that Aya, you’re playing with lives here…”

Or am I?

After all the excitement summer has stirred in me, I would have never thought I’d end up here, in our dining table, practicing my vocabulary skills. Yes, 500 SAT words, and I had to write its definition, come up with a synonym, and use the said word in a sentence. Not that it’s too much of a challenge for me. But hey, five hundred words just drained the remaining love I had for English. “Yes Aya, complain. That’s what you do best isn’t it?”

Still riding the same train of thought, there were a lot of things I would have never thought I’d end up doing, being, or feeling.

My summer started out like any other, all the plans I had for the duration of my vacation were set and ready to go. It wasn’t like I was stepping into new territories. Such activities had been the same year after year, familiar grounds I had solidify and planted my feet firmly upon. But for some reason, I wanted to expand my horizon, and pursue something that was beyond my comfort zone.

Enter Dino… and Trumpets Playshop.

We had talked about joining even before classes ended- Alex, Dino, and I. In more familiar terms, nagkontratahan na kami. But being that both Alex and Dino had gone through the Trumpets experience beforehand, I was uneasy. Sure, I knew I could handle it, I was no bumbling idiot and I do have something to offer, but the fact that it was a new world plagued me with questions and worries that left me withdrawn and introverted about the whole matter.
When Alex would not be able to join us, I called Dino up, refusing to go forth if I had to go alone. It didn’t take much deliberation for him to agree. And when I entered the room on our first day, I had every notion to think that throughout this whole experience, I would be clinging on to Dino’s arm.

And then, summer ended. And I have created a new world to dwell upon, ignited a passion within me for the craft, and forged friendships that would outlast this summer.

Funny how summer played out for me…

heart on overdrive

2005-06-01T01:42:00.000-07:00

Someone once told me that the things you love could tell you a lot about yourself. What you are passionate about shows what kind of person you are, and what tickles your fancy actually gives away your character. So, Aya, what do you love?

Me? Hmm… I love Van Gogh and Monet, though I lean on Van Gogh more...I love art. I love that art is such a non constricting form of expression. That you could simply slap some paint on a canvas and declare that it’s art. I love looking at stacks of blank canvases and imagine what I could come up with all of it. I love how color can tell you a story as though you were reading it. But I also love how black and white images have this breath taking feel to it... I love telling stories, in any form I could. I’d like to think that I have a lot to tell. I love painting pictures with my words. I love pouring my soul into a piece of paper, and writing till my fingers can barely feel. I love constructing words into a concrete and tangible state… I love music. More than love actually. As any form of expression, it has become a part of me. I love hearing a song from the first few chords down to the last pluck of the strings. I love how each song has a different way of capturing my heart. I love singing my heart out. I love hitting every note right. I love the rush I get whenever I sing in front of people. The feeling of vulnerability once you step on stage and the feeling of triumph and relief once you’re off, knowing you gave it everything you had. But I still love singing in the shower. Belting at the top of my lungs without a care in the world someone’s going to hear me… I love dancing. I love being able to dance out of constrains and the constrictions of my body. I love dancing in parties, being pressed onto one another in a cramped dance floor and dancing with anybody in sight. I also love dancing by myself in my room. Getting things done while moving to the music blaring from my speakers in only my underwear… I love musical theater. I love the challenge of using three talents all at once. I love escaping into a totally different person. I love being a thespian… I love basketball. I love the drive I get whenever we train, the needed push for me to go on. I love pace. I love being able to steal the ball from the opponent. I love the feeling I get whenever the ball sails smoothly through the air and shoots. I love the thrill and passion the game concocts. I love the complications behind every play. I love the character this sport builds on you… I love summer. I love seeing April-showers bloom, with its beautiful yellow and red flowers out of its trees. I love the sun. I love the freedom summer has… On the other hand, I love going to school. I love feeding my mind. I love being able to learn things I don’t know. I love the stress. And I love seeing my friends five days a week…I love the little things, the miscellaneous. I love riding a car with the windows down and my hair being blown by the wind. I love lilies when they have just bloomed. I love hugs. I love laughing genuinely. I love gratification. I love being able to help other people out. I love licking of chocolate of my fingers. I love hot showers. I love the fruity smell my shampoo leaves on my hair. I love my closet being color coordinated. I love pictures. I love thinking about the stores behind every captured moment. I love being able to fit well in my jeans. i love intelligent conversations. I love being able to put my opinions on the table. I love blowing bubbles. i love the patches of light that shoot out from the shade of the tree. I love my personality and the fact that I am a bundle of complications and contradictions. I love being me, cliché as it is. And there are so many things I love, but I don’t have the time, energy, and space to type them all down.

So, Aya, what do you love?

an excerpt from http://soundcandy.multiply.com/journal

and from the stillness she rises...

2005-05-29T23:11:00.000-07:00

yes, after much delibiration, hours of consideration, and many many attempts to force my lazy ass to get up, i have created a blog. other than the fact that i am stranded at home with nothing better to do than to kill time online.

i started ranting on the internet way back. my first blog was my baby, my brainchild. but this mother soon found out that her lifestyle and her "bite-off-more-than-you-can-chew" nature could not withstand the pressures of maintianing a cyber journal. that blog soon shriveled up into nothingness. when i finally found time to sit still in front of the computer, i soon found out that the journal i am currently using could not provide the proper space that i so desperatly needed.

tada! here i am...

i have yet to fill these spaces with thoughts i doubt any of you will be interested in... but i'll write them down anyway. who gives a fuck, right?